I do not know why so much negative is going on this week, I am beginning to get doubts and start to a superior destiny to believe. Do we have an absolute free will of man, are we really the sole shape our lives? Or is he who was still the same (Augustine?) our soul, our verknüft divine itself, even with that, they corresponded with each other and there would be free will, but also a parent's will?)
This week is the only one I would have had the learning material, repeat time for my exam next Monday ...
Or is it unconscious self boycott? No, ds can not be, after all, I do not have my queen prompted me today at 3:10 am in the morning to wake up and my Sophie is not ordered to-night pass noisily umpteen times in the apartment.
before yesterday night I could not sleep. Was fixed and all. Before that blared four days running my hangover in the morning between 5-6 clock and wake me up too early every time. And since he has not done for long hours, let alone for four days in a row.
Tonight I was awakened by my kitten to 3.10 clock with a piercing scream that pierced through the ear plugs - Since I'm awake, since my whole family shit immediately came to mind. It wakes me Lilly otherwise one probably. only 1 or 2 times a year, or never! I already feel physically ready before I can even start the day right and fight depression. Amazing animals, really. What did I ever was that I my cat yesterday morning beat up this boy, I spanked him really whether his repeated tyranny, the butt. For a slap with the newspaper or a water jet him not impressed. If both cats are not so old, that is almost 14 years, I would deport them to the shelter, but I bring it not just in my heart. Had tried several years ago to teach my cat who is very demanding and attention-seeking, where a pensioner, the time and inclination, has only to mother him all day. He is a 1-person autocrat cat. Then he would have been happier than me anyway, because he would constantly be mothered and showered with attention, as well as against permanent carried around, he would not have the very slightest, but would enjoy the intense. But unfortunately there was no one who would want to have him. My female is - mostly - only once this week not exceptionally easy to clean.
want all people all the time have puppies, because they believe that only had the ability to learn and only bind closely to them. This is not just very selfish, but also rubbish, an incorrect notion that only puppies or kittens connect to a fixed or only the youngest would learn everything. My old dog years then 9 fxierte still absolutely on me, all the other people did not interest him. And all he had to know and can (and this was much, including housebreaking), he got within just 2 months, as many young dog needs much longer do so.
My dog threw up today for the whole night and went into the apartment. All beastly smell and my new red carpet was completely polluted. I was able to clean when I first got up. Sophi is very sick today. Hopefully it is just an ordinary gastroenteritis and no Mediterranean or other nasty infectious disease such as parvo or similar (even dogs get some time). She was not vaccinated, except for rabies. It also has no Mediterranean check. And the woman I had 220 euros for her, for the alleged charges ... pure pleasure. Because I accidentally learned recently that so fly small dogs for free. In retrospect, I was struck on, correctly, that had for three dogs and two transport boxes only ... Oh well. My next dog when it should again be a will not be from abroad, I've already made. For it is always risky, what they bring in from diseases and some such as leishmaniasis, for example is certainly applicable to humans. Furthermore, I do not have much financial backing that would allow me to make too many expensive tests / make treatments.
My family charged me the time to intensively and I experience the old shit from back then now again, my 30th Birthday, the time in Sttgt, my 40th Birthday, the loss of my friend, my father and the years in between. All not very nice.
the job interview I have yet to meet this week, I had to and would like to apply, I would have to continue learning, I had to deal with Strato repeated. Then two more courses began for me, of course, as I learned in the short term, also in the week. When else? English course as well this week, but I was able to cancel without problems. This I must look at the Klausurort before, because this is a huge area and no house number. here, just a name. I move that the last possible day for it to tomorrow.
And other excuses I hear only cheap, banal Justifications, never a "sorry", "I did not want to hurt you" or something of that nature Vllt. I would wait in vain until my last day on it. As a psychologist, wrote in one of her books: "One pig can not get a veal and if you are still struggling so much," Never. Letting go is hard.
And my energies go steadily downhill. I'm tired. I should learn. I should turn off. I should and should and I can not yet.
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