Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sim 2 No Disc For Mac

free will versus destiny

I do not know why so much negative is going on this week, I am beginning to get doubts and start to a superior destiny to believe. Do we have an absolute free will of man, are we really the sole shape our lives? Or is he who was still the same (Augustine?) our soul, our verknüft divine itself, even with that, they corresponded with each other and there would be free will, but also a parent's will?)

This week is the only one I would have had the learning material, repeat time for my exam next Monday ...

Or is it unconscious self boycott? No, ds can not be, after all, I do not have my queen prompted me today at 3:10 am in the morning to wake up and my Sophie is not ordered to-night pass noisily umpteen times in the apartment.

before yesterday night I could not sleep. Was fixed and all. Before that blared four days running my hangover in the morning between 5-6 clock and wake me up too early every time. And since he has not done for long hours, let alone for four days in a row.

Tonight I was awakened by my kitten to 3.10 clock with a piercing scream that pierced through the ear plugs - Since I'm awake, since my whole family shit immediately came to mind. It wakes me Lilly otherwise one probably. only 1 or 2 times a year, or never! I already feel physically ready before I can even start the day right and fight depression. Amazing animals, really. What did I ever was that I my cat yesterday morning beat up this boy, I spanked him really whether his repeated tyranny, the butt. For a slap with the newspaper or a water jet him not impressed. If both cats are not so old, that is almost 14 years, I would deport them to the shelter, but I bring it not just in my heart. Had tried several years ago to teach my cat who is very demanding and attention-seeking, where a pensioner, the time and inclination, has only to mother him all day. He is a 1-person autocrat cat. Then he would have been happier than me anyway, because he would constantly be mothered and showered with attention, as well as against permanent carried around, he would not have the very slightest, but would enjoy the intense. But unfortunately there was no one who would want to have him. My female is - mostly - only once this week not exceptionally easy to clean.

want all people all the time have puppies, because they believe that only had the ability to learn and only bind closely to them. This is not just very selfish, but also rubbish, an incorrect notion that only puppies or kittens connect to a fixed or only the youngest would learn everything. My old dog years then 9 fxierte still absolutely on me, all the other people did not interest him. And all he had to know and can (and this was much, including housebreaking), he got within just 2 months, as many young dog needs much longer do so.

My dog threw up today for the whole night and went into the apartment. All beastly smell and my new red carpet was completely polluted. I was able to clean when I first got up. Sophi is very sick today. Hopefully it is just an ordinary gastroenteritis and no Mediterranean or other nasty infectious disease such as parvo or similar (even dogs get some time). She was not vaccinated, except for rabies. It also has no Mediterranean check. And the woman I had 220 euros for her, for the alleged charges ... pure pleasure. Because I accidentally learned recently that so fly small dogs for free. In retrospect, I was struck on, correctly, that had for three dogs and two transport boxes only ... Oh well. My next dog when it should again be a will not be from abroad, I've already made. For it is always risky, what they bring in from diseases and some such as leishmaniasis, for example is certainly applicable to humans. Furthermore, I do not have much financial backing that would allow me to make too many expensive tests / make treatments.

My family charged me the time to intensively and I experience the old shit from back then now again, my 30th Birthday, the time in Sttgt, my 40th Birthday, the loss of my friend, my father and the years in between. All not very nice.

the job interview I have yet to meet this week, I had to and would like to apply, I would have to continue learning, I had to deal with Strato repeated. Then two more courses began for me, of course, as I learned in the short term, also in the week. When else? English course as well this week, but I was able to cancel without problems. This I must look at the Klausurort before, because this is a huge area and no house number. here, just a name. I move that the last possible day for it to tomorrow.

And other excuses I hear only cheap, banal Justifications, never a "sorry", "I did not want to hurt you" or something of that nature Vllt. I would wait in vain until my last day on it. As a psychologist, wrote in one of her books: "One pig can not get a veal and if you are still struggling so much," Never. Letting go is hard.

And my energies go steadily downhill. I'm tired. I should learn. I should turn off. I should and should and I can not yet.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

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Contact demolition


rupture of contacts to my sister and her offspring:

My family has me vs. some downright cruel act - but they always have a clean white vest. I just live through again the same feelings at the time. Why I do ncht really. Pointless to list everything here, I remember in any case closely.
Vllt. I'm overwhelmed with the Lernerei a little too much sitting alone in my four walls around. I would like to have more contacts, a lot more socializing, not mail or phone only. But hardly anyone visits me here. Sepp had it in 3 weeks vacation failed, although the S-Bahn stops me in front of his house. 3 or 2 S-Bahn stations behind P., where I live (depending on the S-Bahn), each is too far ... It reminds me of my 40th Birthday when my oldest brother, who then lived in Munich as I said when I asked him to kl. Inviting private celebration: It's too far for me to you, despite the car! Thank you! That was it.
What the hell, then I put him on ice, so icy, as he had just behave myself. I was then approached him, the contact was restored. That's because he, 14 years older than me, of my mother and explained the scapegoat was excluded from the family, along the lines of who resists injustice is wrong. I wanted to form their own "opinion" of him. I ended up doing. There was no reason before, that he suddenly did so, perhaps It was his revenge from jealous childhood, I do not know. But I'm not a doormat, but I was too good.

my 30th Birthday I spent alone in a hospital, Sttgt, no one came from my family visit me, although I was four months away from home. No one was interested in me as I lived there, for example, and with whom I "celebrated." But all they want to be so nice to me / always have been and have loved me so imemrzu. What a joke.
But my nephew, they were able to play football several times by car from Stuttgart. That was not too great a burden. And for my mother there would have been a train. At that time she was still vigorous.
But my round birthdays are only prominent pillars are symbolic for all the rest.

The unconscious seems to many to associate with that time. Or - there is a kind of fate, in addition to the free will that you own it.

insight, regret / apology from my Herkunftsffamilie (total) is not expected. Therefore, I had already once with the middle 30 J. for 13 years the contact stopped, to my entire family of origin and I will do it again today, at least for now time for my sister. R. is obedience to authority, as was her husband and how her daughter is well. At the probity of authority, such as parents, Doctors, etc., should never be scratched, and if the excuses are so stupid and obvious and in part produced succinctly what is in proportion to the way you sometimes brutal towards me, behaved so cruelly. And the interest of my sister I think probably more normal behavior to be or to please her mother, fed less out of genuine affection and genuine interest in me. Sacrifice they do for all old people who have lived their lives almost. Although I would sacrifice not required, just a little more affection, more support, sometimes. Just as that's just in life, that one is sometimes weak and would need other people, at least a little consolation.
me cry a lot, the last day that I never had. Everything I experienced emotionally now, after again. I remember that I as a child psychologist / social worker, teacher, or at least would have been in a children's home in order to give all the ungelilebten young people who love and support I even missed.

Of course no one 100% good or 100% bad. That is what makes it so difficult sometimes to distinguish themselves.
I had again tried to get with them a common basis.
. But also justifies the niece, as well as my sister, any conduct of my decades oh-so-poor, pitiful umaufhörlilch mother and my niece and her mother's behavior toward me. back off I should always, not the other, never
That my mother her life was built on three pillars: all wegzulügen However, the responsibility always to move to other and oozing self-pity to sink, because every little thing, see, they do not want. When mother got me when I was 35 years, not even a doctor for example, as I lay unconscious in the apartment. But even if she coughed twice too often, they run immediately to a doctor - could even put something bad behind it. "Thou host scho ausgschaut as death," she said at the time - and let me just lay. And saw my body full of get up with bruises, because I had apparently tried again and again. She did nothing, did not lift a finger to get medical assistance for me.

Everybody makes mistakes, can make mistakes, but there are limits. Some things go too far is too cruel and brutal.
Even when I lost my friend of 34 years, since he died, my father in the same period, lost my job, lost for the first I still Ind.Kffr. training completed and the panic attacks that were so severe that I hardly left the house could still, I received neither comfort nor help from anyone. I was all alone, I could talk to anyone. I often thought, why do not deaf and dumb was born, but agreed it would have nothing ..
If I only wanted time to talk to someone who had, I had to call hinerherzulaufen. And after days I always was alone in my apartment, but sometimes had to speak with someone un dmene sister called she said almost every time after about 2-3 minutes of the call: "I have to dust off now!" Or "I now have my closets ! give " End. And they left me alone. And what I tatäschlich completely pushed into depression, "You are to blame, everyone is forging his own happiness!" It hurt so unendlch. I have therefore caused the panic attack itself was fault that my father and my friend, then my best friends are dead? And as my mother the next day after I put the whole drama to an end, wanted to with her friend again in the apartment of mine showed up (they had at that time still a key, because it was her apartment), it told her friend in this state me: "You do me net sorry!" Why? I had not asked to pity me, but also not about to miss me in this state, a symbolic slap in the face. A woman, who had helped so far always Integratin in the family. I would have only got a little help or want to express myself. I also had anxiety especially after my job was gone, one probably my mother's rent. times 1 Months to pay wojöglich not. For I was then very carefully. But there was no, well then you pay sometimes containing a little later or something of that nature sent the ambulance
me two days later, a friend who accidentally called my mother and her friend were there - and allowed me to be simple. But pumping out the stomach, it was already too late. And I had not recalled that both were there.

My mother is now trying to do maybe a little good, but she never said that I was partly responsible, that was a mistake on my part and I'm very sorry. Nothing like that. Perhaps, however, they will not only think it, and yet another relative for Contacts have someone to taking care of them with, something that may as well be the case. The subjects I do not really know. And as they say all the time weglügt everything unclean (in small or large), repressed as Freud would they possibly not know.

other day was a celebration of a relative of my sister, all she took with him, our mother also, even their friends - only I was again ruled out the hurt. Yes, they did not know that I would do with ...

My sister was about 1 year of depression, for several months. Her father helped her, her friends (who she met through her father in the house), their 2 children, I also, my mother. We all helped her, comforted her, they built mentally again and again, gave practical support, such as cooked the neighbors, their friends, mostly for them. Since she had yet to recall how would have it, they would have had anyone she could just get a kick from the other .. How would have felt comfortable then?


But it also would include repentance / Entschuldigugn, then one probably could. a common and equal basis found. But no you do not. Did I deserve to have me under constant churn of those? Why and what I have done that except that I'm "there"?
And the bad guys always the ones who are trying to fight back - never the perpetrators. Well then. Let them kiss my ass.
I do not need them, without them I lived anyway even better. My own mother has been a lot of problematic practices and views that I do ncht well. Undso I have to as well as my sister and her family repeatedly referring new injury because of their absolute intransigence. And I'm tired of running behind other forever and after calls to "shall" Interested. Me any more.

I slipped into a depression, the conception date was yesterday also respect ncht. My family makes me sick. Makes my life me sick. I come out again, but right now it lacks me much that I could give Lebensfeude.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Changing Frequency Manually Clarion Drb3675r

Amadeus - second

Every time I see "his song" hear Over the rainbow will hurt me all your heart and I miss Amadeus still, the small, brave, intelligent companions.

My mother said the day before yesterday said: "Because he has done to you so sorry," because of his bad life he has led for nine years before that. No, but because I liked his character and he just loved how he was. They understand not, they do not understand much, unfortunately.

How much he would fit into my current, small Wuselbande - he and Sophie would love. Oh, Amadeus and I were a super team, we got along without words.

quite different humans with each other, we understand not so much in the other. Too bad. Walls, boundaries, fences, distrust, rivalry, criticism and others do not accept the way they are, confusion, disorientation. Terrible, our expertise lies mainly semiotic often fall short of those of animals. Pets wrong with each other before. They are smarter than people sometimes.

Amadeus, Amadeus, my little friend. Way you are! Whether I ever see again? No, I do not believe it, I am No New Age woman.

Take care less Wuselschatz!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

How To Delete Songs Off My Micro Sd Card

Small animal market in Ibind in Hofheim - County Haßberge

Spontaneous made us this Sunday morning we set off for Ibind , to me previously unknown small village near Hofheim in Unterfranken. Situated on the north-west of the Haßberge on the border of Upper Franconia, to me this area was previously only known from numerous visits there the ruins surrounding (Bramberg, Rotenhan, old stone, Konigsberg, etc.)
A lot of activity there was in the market at the inn "Faber-Räthlein" in this rather isolated area. Many exhibitors pigeons, rabbits, pet birds, quail, and of course chickens, you could also stock up on all kinds of accessories for animal husbandry.
As a small souvenir to refresh my "green layer" flock of chickens I've brought these two 13 weeks old chickens. So I really hope they are both hens. A mixed chicken Konigsberg / Araucana in gray and the other magnificent specimen with a hood is probably a mix of nondescript Araucana chicken breed with any hood.