rupture of contacts to my sister and her offspring:
My family has me vs. some downright cruel act - but they always have a clean white vest. I just live through again the same feelings at the time. Why I do ncht really. Pointless to list everything here, I remember in any case closely.
Vllt. I'm overwhelmed with the Lernerei a little too much sitting alone in my four walls around. I would like to have more contacts, a lot more socializing, not mail or phone only. But hardly anyone visits me here. Sepp had it in 3 weeks vacation failed, although the S-Bahn stops me in front of his house. 3 or 2 S-Bahn stations behind P., where I live (depending on the S-Bahn), each is too far ... It reminds me of my 40th Birthday when my oldest brother, who then lived in Munich as I said when I asked him to kl. Inviting private celebration: It's too far for me to you, despite the car! Thank you! That was it. What the hell, then I put him on ice, so icy, as he had just behave myself. I was then approached him, the contact was restored. That's because he, 14 years older than me, of my mother and explained the scapegoat was excluded from the family, along the lines of who resists injustice is wrong. I wanted to form their own "opinion" of him. I ended up doing. There was no reason before, that he suddenly did so, perhaps It was his revenge from jealous childhood, I do not know. But I'm not a doormat, but I was too good.
my 30th Birthday I spent alone in a hospital, Sttgt, no one came from my family visit me, although I was four months away from home. No one was interested in me as I lived there, for example, and with whom I "celebrated." But all they want to be so nice to me / always have been and have loved me so imemrzu. What a joke.
But my nephew, they were able to play football several times by car from Stuttgart. That was not too great a burden. And for my mother there would have been a train. At that time she was still vigorous.
But my round birthdays are only prominent pillars are symbolic for all the rest.
The unconscious seems to many to associate with that time. Or - there is a kind of fate, in addition to the free will that you own it.
insight, regret / apology from my Herkunftsffamilie (total) is not expected. Therefore, I had already once with the middle 30 J. for 13 years the contact stopped, to my entire family of origin and I will do it again today, at least for now time for my sister. R. is obedience to authority, as was her husband and how her daughter is well. At the probity of authority, such as parents, Doctors, etc., should never be scratched, and if the excuses are so stupid and obvious and in part produced succinctly what is in proportion to the way you sometimes brutal towards me, behaved so cruelly. And the interest of my sister I think probably more normal behavior to be or to please her mother, fed less out of genuine affection and genuine interest in me. Sacrifice they do for all old people who have lived their lives almost. Although I would sacrifice not required, just a little more affection, more support, sometimes. Just as that's just in life, that one is sometimes weak and would need other people, at least a little consolation.
me cry a lot, the last day that I never had. Everything I experienced emotionally now, after again. I remember that I as a child psychologist / social worker, teacher, or at least would have been in a children's home in order to give all the ungelilebten young people who love and support I even missed.
Of course no one 100% good or 100% bad. That is what makes it so difficult sometimes to distinguish themselves. I had again tried to get with them a common basis.
. But also justifies the niece, as well as my sister, any conduct of my decades oh-so-poor, pitiful umaufhörlilch mother and my niece and her mother's behavior toward me. back off I should always, not the other, never
That my mother her life was built on three pillars: all wegzulügen However, the responsibility always to move to other and oozing self-pity to sink, because every little thing, see, they do not want. When mother got me when I was 35 years, not even a doctor for example, as I lay unconscious in the apartment. But even if she coughed twice too often, they run immediately to a doctor - could even put something bad behind it. "Thou host scho ausgschaut as death," she said at the time - and let me just lay. And saw my body full of get up with bruises, because I had apparently tried again and again. She did nothing, did not lift a finger to get medical assistance for me.
Everybody makes mistakes, can make mistakes, but there are limits. Some things go too far is too cruel and brutal.
Even when I lost my friend of 34 years, since he died, my father in the same period, lost my job, lost for the first I still Ind.Kffr. training completed and the panic attacks that were so severe that I hardly left the house could still, I received neither comfort nor help from anyone. I was all alone, I could talk to anyone. I often thought, why do not deaf and dumb was born, but agreed it would have nothing ..
If I only wanted time to talk to someone who had, I had to call hinerherzulaufen. And after days I always was alone in my apartment, but sometimes had to speak with someone un dmene sister called she said almost every time after about 2-3 minutes of the call: "I have to dust off now!" Or "I now have my closets ! give " End. And they left me alone. And what I tatäschlich completely pushed into depression, "You are to blame, everyone is forging his own happiness!" It hurt so unendlch. I have therefore caused the panic attack itself was fault that my father and my friend, then my best friends are dead? And as my mother the next day after I put the whole drama to an end, wanted to with her friend again in the apartment of mine showed up (they had at that time still a key, because it was her apartment), it told her friend in this state me: "You do me net sorry!" Why? I had not asked to pity me, but also not about to miss me in this state, a symbolic slap in the face. A woman, who had helped so far always Integratin in the family. I would have only got a little help or want to express myself. I also had anxiety especially after my job was gone, one probably my mother's rent. times 1 Months to pay wojöglich not. For I was then very carefully. But there was no, well then you pay sometimes containing a little later or something of that nature sent the ambulance
me two days later, a friend who accidentally called my mother and her friend were there - and allowed me to be simple. But pumping out the stomach, it was already too late. And I had not recalled that both were there.
My mother is now trying to do maybe a little good, but she never said that I was partly responsible, that was a mistake on my part and I'm very sorry. Nothing like that. Perhaps, however, they will not only think it, and yet another relative for Contacts have someone to taking care of them with, something that may as well be the case. The subjects I do not really know. And as they say all the time weglügt everything unclean (in small or large), repressed as Freud would they possibly not know.
other day was a celebration of a relative of my sister, all she took with him, our mother also, even their friends - only I was again ruled out the hurt. Yes, they did not know that I would do with ...
My sister was about 1 year of depression, for several months. Her father helped her, her friends (who she met through her father in the house), their 2 children, I also, my mother. We all helped her, comforted her, they built mentally again and again, gave practical support, such as cooked the neighbors, their friends, mostly for them. Since she had yet to recall how would have it, they would have had anyone she could just get a kick from the other .. How would have felt comfortable then?
But it also would include repentance / Entschuldigugn, then one probably could. a common and equal basis found. But no you do not. Did I deserve to have me under constant churn of those? Why and what I have done that except that I'm "there"?
And the bad guys always the ones who are trying to fight back - never the perpetrators. Well then. Let them kiss my ass. I do not need them, without them I lived anyway even better. My own mother has been a lot of problematic practices and views that I do ncht well. Undso I have to as well as my sister and her family repeatedly referring new injury because of their absolute intransigence. And I'm tired of running behind other forever and after calls to "shall" Interested. Me any more.
I slipped into a depression, the conception date was yesterday also respect ncht. My family makes me sick. Makes my life me sick. I come out again, but right now it lacks me much that I could give Lebensfeude.
Vllt. I'm overwhelmed with the Lernerei a little too much sitting alone in my four walls around. I would like to have more contacts, a lot more socializing, not mail or phone only. But hardly anyone visits me here. Sepp had it in 3 weeks vacation failed, although the S-Bahn stops me in front of his house. 3 or 2 S-Bahn stations behind P., where I live (depending on the S-Bahn), each is too far ... It reminds me of my 40th Birthday when my oldest brother, who then lived in Munich as I said when I asked him to kl. Inviting private celebration: It's too far for me to you, despite the car! Thank you! That was it. What the hell, then I put him on ice, so icy, as he had just behave myself. I was then approached him, the contact was restored. That's because he, 14 years older than me, of my mother and explained the scapegoat was excluded from the family, along the lines of who resists injustice is wrong. I wanted to form their own "opinion" of him. I ended up doing. There was no reason before, that he suddenly did so, perhaps It was his revenge from jealous childhood, I do not know. But I'm not a doormat, but I was too good.
my 30th Birthday I spent alone in a hospital, Sttgt, no one came from my family visit me, although I was four months away from home. No one was interested in me as I lived there, for example, and with whom I "celebrated." But all they want to be so nice to me / always have been and have loved me so imemrzu. What a joke.
But my nephew, they were able to play football several times by car from Stuttgart. That was not too great a burden. And for my mother there would have been a train. At that time she was still vigorous.
But my round birthdays are only prominent pillars are symbolic for all the rest.
The unconscious seems to many to associate with that time. Or - there is a kind of fate, in addition to the free will that you own it.
insight, regret / apology from my Herkunftsffamilie (total) is not expected. Therefore, I had already once with the middle 30 J. for 13 years the contact stopped, to my entire family of origin and I will do it again today, at least for now time for my sister. R. is obedience to authority, as was her husband and how her daughter is well. At the probity of authority, such as parents, Doctors, etc., should never be scratched, and if the excuses are so stupid and obvious and in part produced succinctly what is in proportion to the way you sometimes brutal towards me, behaved so cruelly. And the interest of my sister I think probably more normal behavior to be or to please her mother, fed less out of genuine affection and genuine interest in me. Sacrifice they do for all old people who have lived their lives almost. Although I would sacrifice not required, just a little more affection, more support, sometimes. Just as that's just in life, that one is sometimes weak and would need other people, at least a little consolation.
me cry a lot, the last day that I never had. Everything I experienced emotionally now, after again. I remember that I as a child psychologist / social worker, teacher, or at least would have been in a children's home in order to give all the ungelilebten young people who love and support I even missed.
Of course no one 100% good or 100% bad. That is what makes it so difficult sometimes to distinguish themselves. I had again tried to get with them a common basis.
. But also justifies the niece, as well as my sister, any conduct of my decades oh-so-poor, pitiful umaufhörlilch mother and my niece and her mother's behavior toward me. back off I should always, not the other, never
That my mother her life was built on three pillars: all wegzulügen However, the responsibility always to move to other and oozing self-pity to sink, because every little thing, see, they do not want. When mother got me when I was 35 years, not even a doctor for example, as I lay unconscious in the apartment. But even if she coughed twice too often, they run immediately to a doctor - could even put something bad behind it. "Thou host scho ausgschaut as death," she said at the time - and let me just lay. And saw my body full of get up with bruises, because I had apparently tried again and again. She did nothing, did not lift a finger to get medical assistance for me.
Everybody makes mistakes, can make mistakes, but there are limits. Some things go too far is too cruel and brutal.
Even when I lost my friend of 34 years, since he died, my father in the same period, lost my job, lost for the first I still Ind.Kffr. training completed and the panic attacks that were so severe that I hardly left the house could still, I received neither comfort nor help from anyone. I was all alone, I could talk to anyone. I often thought, why do not deaf and dumb was born, but agreed it would have nothing ..
If I only wanted time to talk to someone who had, I had to call hinerherzulaufen. And after days I always was alone in my apartment, but sometimes had to speak with someone un dmene sister called she said almost every time after about 2-3 minutes of the call: "I have to dust off now!" Or "I now have my closets ! give " End. And they left me alone. And what I tatäschlich completely pushed into depression, "You are to blame, everyone is forging his own happiness!" It hurt so unendlch. I have therefore caused the panic attack itself was fault that my father and my friend, then my best friends are dead? And as my mother the next day after I put the whole drama to an end, wanted to with her friend again in the apartment of mine showed up (they had at that time still a key, because it was her apartment), it told her friend in this state me: "You do me net sorry!" Why? I had not asked to pity me, but also not about to miss me in this state, a symbolic slap in the face. A woman, who had helped so far always Integratin in the family. I would have only got a little help or want to express myself. I also had anxiety especially after my job was gone, one probably my mother's rent. times 1 Months to pay wojöglich not. For I was then very carefully. But there was no, well then you pay sometimes containing a little later or something of that nature sent the ambulance
me two days later, a friend who accidentally called my mother and her friend were there - and allowed me to be simple. But pumping out the stomach, it was already too late. And I had not recalled that both were there.
My mother is now trying to do maybe a little good, but she never said that I was partly responsible, that was a mistake on my part and I'm very sorry. Nothing like that. Perhaps, however, they will not only think it, and yet another relative for Contacts have someone to taking care of them with, something that may as well be the case. The subjects I do not really know. And as they say all the time weglügt everything unclean (in small or large), repressed as Freud would they possibly not know.
other day was a celebration of a relative of my sister, all she took with him, our mother also, even their friends - only I was again ruled out the hurt. Yes, they did not know that I would do with ...
My sister was about 1 year of depression, for several months. Her father helped her, her friends (who she met through her father in the house), their 2 children, I also, my mother. We all helped her, comforted her, they built mentally again and again, gave practical support, such as cooked the neighbors, their friends, mostly for them. Since she had yet to recall how would have it, they would have had anyone she could just get a kick from the other .. How would have felt comfortable then?
But it also would include repentance / Entschuldigugn, then one probably could. a common and equal basis found. But no you do not. Did I deserve to have me under constant churn of those? Why and what I have done that except that I'm "there"?
And the bad guys always the ones who are trying to fight back - never the perpetrators. Well then. Let them kiss my ass. I do not need them, without them I lived anyway even better. My own mother has been a lot of problematic practices and views that I do ncht well. Undso I have to as well as my sister and her family repeatedly referring new injury because of their absolute intransigence. And I'm tired of running behind other forever and after calls to "shall" Interested. Me any more.
I slipped into a depression, the conception date was yesterday also respect ncht. My family makes me sick. Makes my life me sick. I come out again, but right now it lacks me much that I could give Lebensfeude.
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